I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
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As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
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I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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