i wish starbucks made bloody marys
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize