After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize