I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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