Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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