I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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