eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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