me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
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When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
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My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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