Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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