Don't make out with my wife yet
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Are my feet made of real feet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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