You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize