idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
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I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
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Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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