She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize