Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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