At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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