There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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