By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
True strength comes from lack of pants
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
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