You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
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I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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