When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
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She told me I should be a condom model.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
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Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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