I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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