i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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