no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize