Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize