In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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