i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize