so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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