I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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