She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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