I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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