somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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