I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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