Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
My life is pants optional.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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