party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize