Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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