I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize