they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
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