Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize