Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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