i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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