hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize