belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
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Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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