his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
This is my gift to your gina
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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