I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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