remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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