come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
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just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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