Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
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afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
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Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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