when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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