My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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