You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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