I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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